Category: Misc

Alive – Reverb 10 prompt 3

December 5, 2010

Prompt 3-

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

My tweet: day 3. What moment this year did feel most alive?Short answer 50′ underwater after passing PADI dive certification. Blog to follow

This one was easy. Just reading the prompt brought back a flood of memories. Two vivid. Both from the same day. Within minutes of the other. Scuba diving in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. The dive where I became a certified PADI diver. The dive were I passed the final test – the CESA, controlled emergency swimming ascent. I’d been dreading this test since the day I heard it described by my classroom instructor. Struggled in the pool, finding it mentally difficult to swim slowly, breathing a slow steady stream of air. Convinced I didn’t have enough lung capacity to do this. Convinced that this one test would be the reason I did not achieve a life long dream of becoming a certified diver.

In the pool – both here in Wisconsin when I took the classroom/confined pool portion of the Open Water diver course and at my check-out pool work in Mexico, the more I worried, the tighter my chest contracted. The faster I swam. Too fast. In a real life diving situation swimming to the surface this fast I’d risk bursting my lungs as I rose to the surface -the air in my lungs expanding due to less pressure. But mentally I couldn’t get past the thought I’d run out of air. 30 year old flash backs to high school, getting certified as a life guard and struggling with the requirement to swim a pool length underwater.

Of course, in a pool you are swimming horizontally. You don’t have the advantage of the air in your lungs expanding as you swim to the surface. Both instructors – the WI one and the Mexican one, repeatedly assured me that I would not run out of air. The analytical side of me understood this. Understood the science. Knew I’d been well trained by great instructors. Yet, I was terrified of failing.

Breaking the surface after a remarkably easy CESA. Having the divemaster at the top say, “Congratulations you’re a Diver”. A true moment of being alive.

The second came minutes later. Having passed the final tests, we went back down for another dive.

Diving is interesting from a senses perspective. Sound is different than on the surface. Quiet, just the sounds of my breath. A feeling of weightlessness. Colors are muted – the deeper you go, bits of the color spectrum are lost. But yet, a constant beauty A world unlike the surface. Beauty combined with danger.

Swimming along behind the divemaster, he suddenly swam down through a vertical tunnel in the coral, taking us to a small underwater cave or swim through. This was significant. Until you are a certified diver, the guide or divemaster cannot take you through any swim throughs- you must always have just water above you. Here I was being led into a swim through. And at that moment it hit me. I’d done it. After so many, many years of wishing I could scuba dive, of being afraid, of not being physically fit enough, I had become a diver. Alive only begins to describe the feeling.

Reverb 10 Prompt 2…writing

December 5, 2010

Prompt 2-

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

My tweet: finding perfect few words-great 1st sentence to take idea from head to paper is what often keeps posts in my head not in blog.

Re-reading both the prompt and the tweet, I realize I really didn’t answer the question. Real answer is I procrastinate due to allowing an expectation of perfection from the start to hold me back. Looking at my edit posts page on blogger, I see many drafts staring back at me. Good ideas for posts that just can’t get written. Solely because I can’t find the right first words. Many have a single photo…the photo I typically place in the upper left of my blogs. Others just have a title. Good intentions. Left hidden because I can’t get past that 1st sentence.

How to eliminate is tougher. At work when this happens, I’ll skip forward. Start in the middle, come back to the start. Because I know I have to get it done. With the blog it is too easy to walk away, “multi-task”, give into distractions. Need to try that approach with the blog…I can always come back to the beginning.

And now for a break from our regularly scheduled program….Reverb 10

December 5, 2010

As if this blog had any kind of regularly scheduled program. It started as a gardening blog, and has morphed into a random bit of pieces of my life… sometimes fitness, sometimes biking, sometimes travel, occasionally garden. For the month of December, leading into the new year, I’m adding a bit of self-reflection to the mix.

Reverb 10 is an on-line project to help bloggers reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. Daily thought prompts are provided. Over 2000 bloggers are participating. Prompts are emailed to participants each night just after midnight, and posted on the Reverb 10 site. I found the idea (and the first prompt) intriguing, and have made a commitment to at least tweet everyday on the prompt. Intermittently I’ll expand in a blog post, some for single prompts, sometimes summarizing a few. I’ve added a #reverb10 column to tweetdeck – and finding reading other’s posts and blogs on each prompt an added bonus to this experience.

Prompt 1-

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

My tweet: My word of 2010 is noncompliance. My future word of 2011 is proven.

The 2010 word, non-compliance, was easy. Lately, I’ve described 2009 (the year I lost all the weight) as my year of compliance, and 2010, as the year of non-compliance. I can make a million excuses, but bottom line I stepped away from many of the habits and regiments necessary to both maintain that weight loss, and met the goals I stated last January. No triathlon, no personal record in a half marathon, several pounds regained. Stopped following a strength training program. I’ve written on it, I’ve bitched to friends and family, but I still haven’t quite moved forward.

And this is the last time I will dwell on that. Last time I kick myself for what has already been. Last time I make excuses.

Which leads to the word for 2011. That was tougher to define. I’d already done COMPLIANT in 2009. And, honestly, don’t like the word to describe me. Kicked around SUCCESS. Not it either. UNAFRAID hung in my brain for awhile. Then a little voice in my head said “Prove it”. Prove to yourself that you can do a triathlon, prove to yourself that you can meet this weight loss goal, prove yourself in your new role at work, prove to yourself that you can do business travel and make good food choices, follow a fitness routine. Proven. Yep, that’s the word for 2011.

Next December when this project rolls around again, I want to be PROVEN.