Wonder and Letting go…Reminding myself
February 5, 2014
A week or two ago, a glance at this blog’s “stats” led me to re-read another long forgotten post from the Reverb 10 project. In this case, I was a bit floored upon reading my three year old words. The reminder of the importance of “play” or physical activity in my life was reassuring to read. Bringing to center of mind how much it helps me deal with the stress of life. How much joy it brings me. And how far I’ve come…while still knowing how far I still can go. Reenforcing why I have a mantra of “Fit. Active. Healthy. Strong.”
But what really hit me in the gut was the reminder of facing fear.
Several months ago I rashly registered for a two day seminar on women and weight lifting. I’d heard of it through the “Everyday Paleo” podcast, and the list of presenters read like a who’s who of fitness people in the Paleo/strength training sphere. These are people who have blogs, books and podcasts I admire, follow or own. Almost immediately after registering, I had buyers remorse, thinking I didn’t belong, that I was too old, not fit enough to attend. That I would be out of place. That others would look at me and wonder what the hell I was doing in attendance. And pretty much decided I wouln’t attend. Never even put on my calendar. More or less forgot about it. Then the final agenda for the seminar came via email.
The line up was incredible. But the doubts still lingered. Then I read this post. Re-read it again. I knew what I had to do. I must attend. I need to step out of my comfort zone on this. If not, I’ll regret it. And always wonder what could have been if I attended. I refuse to live in a place of regret.
Today another reminder to face fears, this time in another aspect of my life. My career.
This morning I was talking to a work colleague who I consider a dear friend. In the course of our discussion, she pushed me to step out of my comnfort zone on a professional issue. That I needed to face a fear in order to grow – while at the same time reassuring me that I could succeed by doing so. Once again, led me to re-read these long forgotten words.
And re-post it, as a bit of a kick in the ass to put myself out there, and grab the opportunities I’m presented rather than letting fear hold me back.
The original post from December 2010 is below……
Combining two Reverb 10 prompts in this post. Not because the subject matter is the same…but because my reaction to both prompts was very similar. As was the throught process throughout the rest of that day.
In both cases, my immediate reaction was negative. As in I didn’t do that. I had no wonder. I let nothing go. Mentally kicking myself for not doing more, not doing “better”. Felt a little sad. My tweets to each of the the prompts reflected this initial reaction. But as the day went by, and I gave it more thought, the answers were clearer, more positive, a bit affirming. In both cases, yes, I’m sure I could have done more. Can name a hundred different things I coulda, shoulda done. Heck, we probably all can say that about most any aspect of our lives. But bottom line, on both wonder and letting go, they played a significant role in my year.
Perhaps one of the best things about this month long journey through the Reverb 10 prompts will be the affirming of the good, positive parts of the year, while recognizing the opportunities, shortfalls……….and synthesizing these to frame my very best 2011.
December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)
My tweet: Today’s #reverb10 prompt has me bit vexed. Gonna have to think this through. Bit sad didn’t have immediate answer
How typical of me to discount the obvious. Cultivating a sense of wonder, a sense of play has become a staple of my life. The whole reason I began to work out, become more fit was to keep up with my now 11 year old son. Through that I have learned to appreciate more of life through his eyes. To not only value but to cultivate play. To constantly seek to learn, to try new things.
I’ve blogged about appreciating Milwaukee, of exploring Chicago, biking California, riding a bike through the jungles of Mexico and single track In Wisconsin. Of a new appreciation of nature, of being outdoors that being more fit as given me. Play, wonder is a part of my life.
I cannot take wonder for granted, but I also cannot discount how far I’ve come.
Prompt 5 –
December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
My tweet: Another thought provoking #reverb10 prompt. As I ponder “Let Go” think this may be more about what I should; not what I have
As I thought through this, I was reminded of a book I read probably 15 years ago, “Feel the Fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers. Some of my most empowering moments or events this year have been when I have faced a fear.
Let fear go.
Taking the class and getting scuba certified, tackled a fear I’d held for literally decades. Let go of the idea that this was something I could not do, would never do. Let go of the idea I wasn’t physically fit enough to complete the class, to pass the 200yd swim (my facebook friends may remember my elation when I not only completed the swim – but was the fastest female, beating several young women 30 years my junior). Completing the class was big. Actually getting certified bigger.
The second major fear milestone was to begin to bike commute. I’d let fear stop me from this for 18 months. Afraid of traffic, afraid I wasn’t fit enough to make the commute. Yet, once I finally faced those fears, overcame them heck, blew them away, I felt strong. Reaffirmed myself, and all that I can do. Brought both strength and wonder to my day.
There have been other ways I have faced fear in both my personal and professional life in 2010. I know this is a demon I will continue to face in 2011. I hope and pray I can touch back on these times I have looked a fear dead in the eye and conquered.
There are plenty of things in this life to stumble over, plenty of things to fear. However, I should never let fear of failing to be the reason I fail or worse, do not begin, do not try. Fear of failure is one fear I alone have the power to conquer, to finally let go………
Wordless Wednesday: 1st Day of School K-8
September 4, 2013
Missing 3rd Grade – 2008
Missing – 7th Grade 2012
Annual visit to the Wisconsin State Fair
August 11, 2013
Closing day of theWisconsin State Fair meant it was now or never for Kiddo and my annual trip to the fair. We have a bit of a routine to our visits…venturing into some new things, but generally following a similar path each year. We’re not big midway people (despite being theme park junkies), nor do the expo halls really call us. For us is more about the cream puffs, the corn, the milk, the barns and the people watching.
With Kiddo now a teenager, and becoming more independent, increasingly wrapped up in the world of his friends, I’m thrilled that this is still “our” thing.
We started with a trip up the fairgrounds on the sky glider, noticing changes from prior years, chatting about past visits, what was here when I was a kid. Talking about all the crazy foods along the grandstands. We were at first alarmed when we got to the other end, and there was no milk booth. Then we noticed the sign saying it had moved to the south end of the grandstand.
We began to weave our way through barns, checking out the chickens, rabbits, goats, cows. Making our way towards the corn. I typically pause at this container garden along the way.
The New Berlin Lions Club roasted corn has been a fair favorite of mine since I was a kid. Signs above the booth say it’s been there 55 years, so definitely older than me (yes, I know, but not by a whole lot).
The racing ducks are new this year, and were a fun stop.
Finally we found the milk booth. I’m always surprised by the lines here. They move fast and at .25cents a cup, one of the best bargains at the fair. Unfortunately, the Cherry Vanilla and RootBeer flavors were sold out. This is often the case on the last day of the fair. We did a bit of our own mixology, trying Strawberry-Banana and Chocolate-Banana.
Of course, Wisconsin is not just the dairy state, it also has a strong beer culture. Which was even apparent in the Horticulture and craft exhibition hall. Kiddo suggested I need this Christmas tree.
Finally we made it to the Cream Puff Pavilion. Went through the line so we could watch them being assembled. Then grabbed a box to go. Another fair visit complete.
Looking back at my write up of our fair visit in 2010, not much has changed…other than Kiddo growing up. ACK!!!!
Wordless Wednesday: Bikes. Water.
August 6, 2013
Not sure why, but I’m drawn to taking pictures by water of the bike I’m riding. Obligatory almost. This collection currently on my iPhone.
The one where I write about not writing
July 19, 2012
Holy crap, I have really only written one new post in nearly a year. Goodness, how time flies.
Settled into an odd circle: feeling the need to apologize for not doing something before I could re-start doing it. Finding that thought ridiculous, but still paralyzing. Deepening the inertia.
So consider this that apology. The acknowledgement that for reasons I don’t even understand (or care to face), I stopped writing on this blog for a long, long time. And have been struggling with how to re-start.
Lucky for you, patient readers, I have
hundreds thousands of pictures and dozens of post topics stored away. As I travel and explore my world, I still pause to take pictures, thinking, “this will be good for the blog.” My family is used to my random stops, my posing bikes or beer mugs or even them, to get a shot for my blog. Time to get back to the actually finishing and publishing posts aspect. Time to clear out all the unfinished posts. Either write em and post em or delete em.
Now to decide what first. Chronological, most recent or oldest first? By themes? By whatever strikes my fancy?
Oh shit….here we go again with the finding ways to cause writers block. Push through, Kim, push through.